On Friday, Upper School students heard from Philadelphia chef and restaurateur Michael Solomonov during the Maura Murphy '96 Lecture. Mr. Solomonov began his lecture by talking about addiction and shared how he often felt sad throughout childhood and would hide the sounds of his crying from the neighbors. "I felt most at home when I was on a substance," he said. "I figured out a way to fool everybody, and it worked for a while."
Mr. Solomonov is the executive chef and co-owner of Philadelphia's Zahav – a trailblazing restaurant that placed Israeli cuisine at the forefront of dining in America today. Mr. Solomonov won the James Beard Award for Outstanding Chef in 2017 and Outstanding Restaurant in 2019 – making Zahav the first Israeli-American restaurant to be awarded this prestigious honor. In addition to Zahav, Mr. Solomonov co-owns Federal Donuts and five other highly-acclaimed restaurants and cafes in Philadelphia that specialize in Israeli cuisine.
After students settled into their seats in the Class of 1944 Chapel, Head of School Dr. T.J. Locke welcomed Mr. Solomonov and shared more about his background with the audience. He explained that Mr. Solomonov's familiy and friends would agree that his greatest success is conquering addiction throughout the past 11 years and turning that experience into a future filled with good.
Even after his substance abuse led to hospitalization and dropping out of college, Mr. Solomonov explained that he still didn't believe he was an addict. "At this point, my entire identity, all my friends, all my behavior were dangerous. My parents didn't understand substance abuse or alcohol, and I was going down a rabbit hole of destruction. I had to return to Israel [where his parents and younger brother lived] with my tail between my legs."
In Israel, he was somewhat of a self-described immigrant employee, barely speaking Hebrew. He got a job as a dish washer in a bakery and found it cathartic. "I was so used to taking and taking and taking. To be able to make something with your hands and give it to people and break bread with them is actually quite spiritual. You feel like you're connecting with someone else."
He eventually was able to return to the U.S., go to culinary school, and begin working as a chef. At the time, his younger brother was completing his military service in Israel. "My little brother was a sniper in Gaza while I was learning to make sauces in a French restaurant," he said.
But something happened in 2003 that would forever shape Mr. Solomonov's life. That October, his brother, David, volunteered to swap patrol duty so a friend could go home for Yom Kippur. Just three days away from completing his military service, David was killed by a sniper while patrolling in an orange grove on the Lebanese border. "Nothing will ever prepare you for the trauma of that moment," Mr. Solomonov shared, "I tried to go to sleep so I could wake up and have it not be reality."
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His death set in motion the most self-destructive period in Mr. Solomonov's life. "I hate to use cliches, but to someone who has a predisposition to being an addict or an alcoholic, this is the best excuse in the world. The moment I left his funeral, I picked up drugs and justified all of my behavior." The contrast between him and his brother made it even harder to cope. "David was one of the most generous, gentle people. He never lied, never used drugs. He didn't deserve to die. I explained it to myself that I did."
Over those years, he lived a dual life - a celebrated chef with a career on the rise during the day, and an addict each night. "Eventually, as it is a progressive disease, the lying stops working," he said. "My business partner and I opened Zahav in 2008 but I was totally falling apart."
By the time his wife and business partner held an intervention, he realized it was time to get help. "I could have ruined everything for them but the first thing they did was try to get me help. Admitting to them that I was an addict and needed help felt like the first time I'd ever been honest. And I was 30 years old." He credits the support of his business partner and wife for helping him stay sober these past 11 years. Driving him everywhere he needed to go, they held him accountable and made sure he attended AA meetings twice a day.
He felt like everything changed for him one day when his wife gave him $20 to get a haircut. He began thinking about the potential repercussions of using that money to buy drugs. "Well, my wife will kick me out. I'll be homeless. I'm walking down the street, and I'm rationalizing why it's okay to be homeless, breaking and entering and robbing people. I finally sit down to get my haircut, and I burst into tears and told the stylist what I was going through. She said, 'I'm celebrating 11 months clean. Let's talk about it.' And it saved my life."
Today, he drives himself to meetings on his own. He and his business partner own several restaurants together, and he speaks very publicly about his efforts to stay sober. "I used to feel condescending to the religious messaging on the path to sobriety. I thought, I am better than this and I can do it my way. Now, I'm very comfortable having faith in God or a higher power, and it has worked for me."
He was also grateful for the opportunity to speak to EA students, sharing, "I'm honored, because this is very good for my recovery. I want to thank you all for having me. In life, I've realized community has been the savior for me."
Students were moved by his honesty and humility, remarking that this was the first time many of them had heard such a powerful message about addiction without feeling preached to. After the lecture, Mr. Solomonov remained available for a short time to speak with students and teachers.
The Maura Murphy '96 Lecture is made possible by family and friends of Maura Murphy to honor her memory. Speakers focus on questions and moral concerns that young people confront daily as well as issues they may encounter later in life.